Minutes: 5/31/2011

1) Date of Meeting: May 31, 2011

2) Names of Members present: Chris Dibari, Paul Almeida, Matt Hachey, Raja Grewal, David Meltzer

Names of members absent : N/A

3) Motions:

a) Continued: Smoking ban: All in favor in passing smoking ban petition: 13. Abstentions: 4. Against: 4. Smoking ban petition passes.

b) Jay (Chief of Fire Dept.): Proposes smoking alarms…

c) Planning Commission: A divorced mother wants to open a hair salon in her home. All those in favor of changing the zoning of Claudia’s house to allow her to open the shop: ALL. All opposed: 0

d) Planning Commission: Wants to put a hotel where a church is. Would require bull dozing it. Would raise more revenue. They would be moving the church’s property. They would have to dig up 38 graves. All those in favor of selling Pioneer Park (4: Raja, Matt, Paul, Chris.) Should a zoning variance be permitted to add more floors (ALL). One entrance to the plaza (4: Raja, Matt, Paul ,David.)

e) Libby motions to impeach Paul on the grounds that he overuses the gravel. 15 Approve. Paul impeached. Chris becomes Mayor

Minutes: 5/26/2011

1) Date of Meeting: May 26, 2011

2) Names of Members present: Chris Dibari, Paul Almeida, Jason Riddell, Raja Grewal, David Meltzer

Names of members absent : N/A

3) Motions:

 Budget Issue:

a) Department of Development Proposal:

·      Camelot Shores Project: Department of Development proposes that the land that surrounds the Russo River be developed into an attractive recreational area. There will be incentives to developers who would build upscale high-rise apartments, restaurants, and marinas. This would be a ten year development plan. There was debate over whether they should develop the land or just sell it. There was a lot of discussion about the impact the college will have on the developments and how the college kids will effect it.

o   In favor of approving Camelot Shores Project: Raja, Paul

o   Opposed: Chris, David

o   Abstained: Jason

o   Moved to town vote: (5 in favor, 8 opposed)

o   Proposal Rejected

·      Camelot Marina Project: Make shore area more attractive, Department of Development proposes the development of a marina along the North shore line of the Russo River.

o   Unanimously rejected from budget

b) Add $12 service fee for Pediatrics care to make up for budget deficit? All those in favor: Unanimous.

BUDGET COMPLETE!!

Actions of council: Re-elections: Jason and Chris time expired- up for re-election. Other nominations: Jay, Matt, Joe, Chris G.

Announcements: Chris D. Notes that he votes in favor of women’s rights.

Time of Adjournment: 12:13

Counselman Jason Riddell Tries To Appeal To Olde Milford's Hispanic Population By Using The Word "Siesta"

According to Olde Milford's new Peruvian ambassador, Rodney Bean, it failed. White male, Justin Levine offered no comment.

Adam J. Stolz & Jacob E. Andriola - The Scoop

Debate on Women's Health Services Proves To Be A 'Sticky Situation'

Tuesday, May 24 -  Tempers flared at today's council meeting when the town of Olde Milford debated the need for Planned Parenthood Services. With a large "increase in pregnancy among unmarried, very young girls", the services would provide a place to go to receive "information and counseling".

The cost of these services would cost approximately $297,600. An amount greater than the insufficient funds the town of Olde Milford has to offer. Rodney Bean, mathematician specializing in subtraction, poignantly observed that "$235,500 - $297,600 = -$62,100". In layman's terms Olde Milford is $62,100 short of implementing this program.  The council, consisting solely of middle aged men, proved to have little to no concern for these expenses, and struck the motion down. Family man, Justin Levine offered no comment.

Jacob E. Andriola - The Scoop

Levine Offers 'No Comment' On Miraculous Dinosaur Discovery.

Tuesday, May 24 - 4:38 A.M. Authorities responded to an unusual emergency call. Justin Levine was digging a hole in his backyard in an attempt to hide some falsified financial documents, when he struck what leading scientists have identified to be the remains of a Heterodontosauridae. Paleontologist Rodney Bean identified the creature with a crack team of Chilean landscapers that were nearby upon Levine's discovery. Bean was able to classify the remains because, "the tibia was 30% longer than the femur, which is generally considered an adaptation for speed of the species. The tibia and fibula of the lower leg were fused to the astragalus and calcaneum of the ankle, forming a 'tibiofibiotarsus' convergent with modern birds."

(Flawless, full, healthy, pure, naked Heterodontosauridae fossil shown in it's entirety in the image above) 

Levine offered no comment when The Scoop, as well as other national news organizations, approached him regarding his discovery. When the the scene was seized by expert scientists and authorities, Levine still offered no comment. The decision of what to do with the dinosaur remains, will be turned over to the community if Levine doesn't propose a plan of action soon. We strongly urge our readers to comment and voice their thoughts. What should the city of Olde Milford do with this well-conditioned prehistoric beast? 

Adam J. Stolz -The Scoop

Media Pays Absolutely No Attention To Budget Issue Discussion

Monday, May 23 - Blah-blah-blah-BUDGET!
          "No Jason, nobody sees your math!" Marlena Hoffman shouted to council member Jason Riddell.  Confusion appeared to be the running theme during Olde Milford's disscusion of the current budget issue. With only $475,500 to work with, tensions arose over the allocation of these funds. To make matters worse, out of those moneys approximantly $240,000 was spent last week on new weapons for the police department. These new weapons primarily consisted of the newest DC-17 hand blaster, a heavy blaster pistol wielded by the clone troopers of the Galactic Republic during the Clone Wars. The remaining $235,500 was left undecided upon, but it has been established that it will not be used for the enforcing of drug laws. Economist Rodney Bean supported this decision, however, Justin Levine offered no comment.

Math Trick Free With Today's Budget Article:

Jacob E. Andriola - The Scoop

The Fairness In Housing and Employment Issue Ordinance Goes: 'Fabulously'

Monday, May 23 - Senior President, Matt Hachey, of the Milford Institute of Literature and Film has proposed that The Fairness In Housing and Employment Issue be placed on the inaugural agenda. City manager Matthew Larkey has subsequently noted that there is no parallel legislation in the state. The ordinance would 1) "prohibit in the renting, leasing, or sale of housing any discrimination based on sexual orientation and preference; and that will 2) prohibit in the employment, promotion, or dismissal of any persons by any employer of ten or more persons any discrimination based on sexual orientation or preference" according to the city manager in accordance to the Olde Milford city attorney. This issue was refuted by several of the towns residents, and in fact, financial expert Justin Levine was in disgust, offering no opinion. The tension was visible in the room of discussion, as newly elected council member Satwant Raja Grewal spoke on the issue. Could this bring up a race issue in addition to the discussion of the rights of those who sexually orient themselves differently? 

          The Scoop observed this as an issue of conspiracy by none other then radical conservative, Rodney Bean. The town council came to the conclusion to pass the ordinance and add the age, gender, sexual orientation, marital status, nationality, appearance, race, or ethnic background to the categories of discrimination in this matter. Violation of such would result in a Class III misdemeanor, which calls for a $250 fine per offense. This quick decision raises concern because of the timelessness in which it was made, but only time will tell.

Adam J. Stolz - The Scoop

Racial Tensions Fly As Grewal Is Elected To Council

Wednesday, May 18 - Upon the election of our new town council the results have determined that for the first time in Olde Milford history the Olde Milford Council that bears a member of ethnic diversity. "If you don't elect me, your just racist" Grewal quoted during his vigorous campaign. Despite political analyst Rodney Bean's inconclusive polling guesstimates, Grewal managed to receive an overwhelming amount of support from the Milford community. Feelings of unease were palpable, but The Scoop will comply with the recognition of Grewal's presence on the council. Justin Levine offered no comment.

Adam J. Stolz & Jacob E. Andriola - The Scoop